Hi, Fambly,
Wanted to bring you up to date on Honker, my Minimacaw...
He has learned to speak a bit again, main words being I loveyou, thank you, yuuuuuuuummmmmmmm-good! and Water. (That means I wanna bath now,and get moving on it, you peasant.)

We had a kitchen fire recently: I didn't realize the stove was burning, till I finally couldnt see this screen. But Honker did, and screamed bloody murder until I came out to see what had or was being killed...OOOOOOOOps!

I have been in many fires, some quite intentional, as I bring large animals out of fires with my (often renewed) INAFA flutes, all in the key of c#-the animals can hear that note through the roar of a forest fire. They follow the sound, normally to safety.)

But this time I freaked! I did what any normal mom would do. Grabbed the birds, shoved both squawking and shouting, but safe, as I waddled from the house... I didn't give a hoot what else was in the house, I had the things what needed saving right in my shirt.

All went well, until I stepped out the door. I hadn't noticed the blizzard, somehow.
Go Figger. Single track mind? So, we could stay inside and burn, or we could stay outside and freeze.

I had also grabbed the phone as I whizzed past those cages, so I used it to mention the little bitty fire to the correct place. The guys from Station house 25 were there in a flash. (Two blocks away, how they not gonna get there fast?)
They mentioned, very politely, that there was a red fire putter outter right by the stove, why hadn't I used it? uh......... (I keep them well supplied with pastries, so they are not gonna mention rightoff that I am at times dunce-like.)

The chief arrived in his nice warm car, so I made a beeline for his auto....only to find I could not bring the lumpy, squawky things under my shirt into his pristine (?) vehicle. I agreed, but only after getting into the warmth of his car, which is not near so pristine now.

What was he gona do, throw me out? I don't think so, not with both babies under my shirt. It would have been very bloody, and I think he somehow knew that....

After the MASSIVE (HAH!) fire was put out, the smoke was hideous. Extremely toxic to the birds. So, here I am, seated in the chief's car, arguing with the chief about getting out of his car and into the blizzard, to enter what was now a house of horrors for my birds. He was very nice about the little green dots all over the shotgun seat.

Then my husband came barreling into the drive, having been called by a neighbor.
More fun.
He took both birds to Our Beloved Vet, Jerry LaBonde, who promptly put them on oxygen, nebulized them for four days, then had his techies wash every feather on each bird! (If he had allowed them to preen, they would have died from the toxity of the smoke on their left on their feathers. See why I adore that man? Amazing!)

I was left at the house to try and clear some of the er...um,..... away.
I cleared the smoke, only to ralize that the fire had eaten away the glue holding the kitchen utensil hooks to the wall had dropped many of them to the floor. Being totally in control, no hysterics here, I ran upstairs and grabbed the instant glue that I use for everything.


Smoke in my eyes, I put the open bottle of glue on the counter, to wipe my eyes, get the soot off my glasses. I gathered up a few more hooks from the floor, then reached for the glue.

I found it, but my hands were sweaty. The glue bottle tipped, spilling glue from "Ell to breakfast all over me, my hands, my clothes, EVERYThing that was in any way associated with me. It really is instant glue.

When DH arrived home, sans birds, he got out of his car with a rather odd look on his face. I started to reach out to re assure him, but couldn't.
I was glued to everything in the damn kitchen, including myself.

After enjoying a good belly laugh he began cutting the various materials off of me that weren't still glued to me. I had no idea what was so funny...even my fingers were glued to my hair and each other...including my glasses...
The glue lasted forever(good glue, never get any) and I couldn't move my hands, couldn't do anything but let the soot run down my face. With the tears, as the UNglueing was almost worse than the glueing. Plus, he enjoyed laughing, the "astard!

When the birds were able to come home to a totally cleaned home, they still wouldn't come near me. I smelled of soot and glue. Four days later!

When the glue and soot stench had cleared, I was in my Ivory Tower, 'puting, alone in the house-I heard someone sweeping the stairs! I listened for a moment, then rose to see what was happening.

Here came Honker, waddling in that adorable parrot walk, having just climbed a staircase whose risers were all taller than he is... What a wonderful th ing, to have a creature, a small, injured bird whose heart is bigger than heis, making such a magnificent effort to find me and help me. He spent the rest of the afternoon plucking dried bits of glue from rather odious places, going "Ptui!" after peeling off and spitting out the dried glue I couldn't reach.

HE never gave up on ME!

zeneagle

Oh ZEN There ought to be an icon or graemlin depicting the comedy/tragedy masks for this story. You read it with your hand over your mouth to cover the grin when the next line is the tragedy.......over and over. I am glad to hear all is well/cleaned/in order... but, as I said to you another time, I had no idea you were going through any of these things while you were so earnestly offering me your "energy". For that I can only offer another baffled thank you.
Barbara

Barbara, life has a nasty habit of going on, no matter who is in the way.

I truly wish you didnt feel badly: I can't help you on that one.

What you have yet to understand about all on the board, now including you, is that when we have the opportunity to help another, some of the good stuff is stuck to us! Not the glue, never the glue.

Please, drop the guilt trip that you seem to be carrying! You gave me a way to avoid someof the things I was GUILTING over, too.

Thanks for the opportunity. I am very sure that at sometime in your life as a lightworker you will also run into trivia that occurs at the same time another needs you. You will come through, knowing you will feel better than you did.

I thank you for the opportunity that you gave to me. The focus was not on MY problems. I could think of another for a bit. I really think that is a boon, and I really thank you.

zeneagle

Zen, Honker is indeed a mighty bird - and I had no idea a bird could be so useful! Great vet, too!

I'd recommend you try practicing keeping calm, though, from time to time; maybe you would have noticed the fire-extinguisher if you'd been able to do it - plus hopefully you'd have not spilled the glue!

Could Honker learn 'fire' or some other useful alert, too? Amazing that he's learned the two most healing phrases already - I love you and thank you! What a bird!! thanks for your story, another gem I'm adding to my file on animal stories. I don't know why but I find stories about the heroics and love of animals so much more interesting and moving than stories about people - except little kids, maybe.

Love and best wishes, hugs and say hello to Honker for me!

What a bird. And your husband could see the funny side. Worth a lot that! Glad all is well now

Dear Zen

Reading in your profile you're a writer does not surprise me one little bit...as Reva says...hiding the grin behind the hand dramatic stuff.... You're vivid descriptions are fantastic... Honker obviously is a wonderful sensitive bird... and it sounds like he would go 'to the ends of the earth' for you (same same for you?) Thanks for sharing this with us.. Please keep us informed how both you and Honker are keeping...
L&L
Herma

Jocelyn, Thanks for the compliment, very much. Normally, I am extremely calm, totally competent, and very organized.
And a total twit! As you already know!
The fire extinguisher had not been recharged for thirty years.
THATS why I didn't reach for it. This was not a fire one could club to death, much as I would have preferred that. Plus, the stove is electric. I was barefooted. Water+electricity+barefoot makes for crispy critters. I went for freeze dried instead.
Actually, I am normally VERY good in emergencies, with the sole exception of alll the times my birds or any animals are involved.

Which is why the abused horse lived in my living room for three months.

You underestand, I am very very sure...

Belly laughs all around, healing hugs too.
zeneagle

Yes, I do love Zen the way she is and I love her stories! I realise you are posting in a light-hearted way, but still, I have to say I just can't help seeing the energy perspective in chaos and near-disaster, even if it is very entertaining to read about it afterwards; and I do believe ultimately keeping calm is the answer to just about all our problems, large and small! I also think of dear little Honker, struggling up those stairs, and out of love for him suggested that Zen might try an alternative approach to the next crisis. In fact, in my experience, keeping calm faced with some disaster can be all it takes to completely avoid future problems, and for the good of everyone involved I do think that would be a vast improvement. I think Zen would be able to express it beautifully and make a huge difference to everyone else, too!

I'd like to point out iIt was hard to suggest it because I did consider the stories we might lose - but love is unconditional, and so I couldn't selfishly think of my own enjoyment of Zen's writings and hold back. See - I think about these thing too!

There's also the fact that whatever happens, Zen will write about it in her own wonderful, entertaining and enlightening style and we'll all be the better for it!

Best wishes
Jane

Last night I dreamed that your vet made Honker a cold-weather outfit that he work outside. It had a warm vest, separate tube/sleeves that he slid his wings into (I remember wondering how he did it without ruffling his feathers), and BOOTS! He was so cute walking around in those boots!

Hi, Jane - I appreciate that you're coming from a good-hearted place - not sure I 100% agree with you, though! Of course, calmness is good - but I don't see how anyone can simply decide they will ALWAYS be calm in the midst of a crisis - I don't share your faith in the supremacy of the rational mind - I admit that even with the wink, I WAS being a bit defensive on Zen's behalf, since I felt the suggestion, though well-meaning, was a bit extreme considering the situation - one can hardly decide that, "Hey, that's an idea - next time I'm in shock and dissociated, I will choose to be sensible and calm instead!" That said, I did perceive clearly your warm desire to be of help, and you're someone whose posts I do always look forward to reading...

Re: Honker the Mighty!

Hi Jody,
That is exactly what is going on at the moment! Your dream, I mean....

Get outta my head! Even though I have plenty of empty space there, I don't sublet...sorry!

I want to be able to take Honker with me, comfortably, safely, (OY!) on my bicycle, in addition to keeping him warm and protected, with food and water at his beck and call. I DON'T under any circumstances want to let him be harmed..
Having been hit by five {different times}cars when I rode the streets, then getting the holy whump beaten out of me on the"patrolled" bike trails of Denver,twice, I am having definite problems getting on my bike and going for it again.
Consider the fact of having my right hip displaced when I was beaten by three men who dropped from the trees overhead onto me. Took the same cops whose horses I helped ten hours to find the results-me.Actually, the horses and dogs found me, I think...

Then the time before that when four young men accosted white-haired old me while "wilding" to enter a gang. (They were not accepted, lemme tell ya. By that time I had learned to carry my carving knives, had taken a looooong course from Paul Vunac and Dan Inosito on brazilian knife fighting. Also, having been majestically hurt previously, I knew there was nothing they could do that hadn't been done, death would only be the start of a new life, I simply grabbed out a knife, {which I had made myself-thenkew!} and waited for them to attack.
My bike was thrown in front of me, backpack beside it, van at my back, a kind of barrier was created. Having all neatly in place, I backed up to the van and said only "okay, come on"

They didn't attack, just looked at me, told me about my mother under the front porch and ran like the devil was chasing them!

Something happened to my eyes, I dont know what it was,I felt it happen as all emotion left my body and mind. I KNOW that I could have/would have killed the nearest who came at me. THAT was very very scary, but I didn't know it till afterwards. That may be why I am called the Berserker Granny. I would much prefer to be known once more as the Endo Granny, but survival is nice.
So, at the present moment, I am working with a bird store owner to develop a strong, safe, comfortable cage to mount on the front of my bike that will with stand anything up to and including a howitrzer. THAT I can do myself. I think it is gonna happen.
I also think that when it does, I will have to find another reason NOT to ride.
I am scared of the trails, frightened of the roads, doesn't leave much.

I am also going to ride again-NO MATTER-because I must.

When I feel safe, then Honks will come along, too. But not till then.
I will never take a chance on losing him, if I never ride again...

I like your dreams, Jody, they are SO right on, and so peculiar too, in an exotic kinda way...

Gentle Healing Hugs,

zeneagle

Mine Dahlink Jocelyn,
Thanks so much for providing me with a path, well-lighted, that allows me so much room to be. Without the Jocelyn's in the world, I wonder what would come of the very different type of person that I and others, too, would survive?
Thank you for lighting my way so very often.
zeneagle

I also think of dear little Honker, struggling up those stairs, and out of love for him suggested that Zen might try an alternative approach to the next crisis. < From CreativeJanie

Having thought about this reply for quite a while, I couldn't quite realize what we were missing from the story. Finally, I got it...

If Honker had not had the opportunity to help another in great need, he would not have learned that !. he could climb those stairs. and 2. Honker would not have realized how much another loving beak/hand/wing/hoof/or brush past could really mean to another.
Jane, you are mostly right, but not all of us are plumbed in the same manner. I agree, much would be better if I didn;t go off like an alarm clock, but then, many would not know how much they can mean to another if not given the many opportunities to understand and act beyond their own capacities.
So, while I think you are correct, I also think that all others, including Honker and myself are correct, too.

Thanks very much for letting me learn again...

zeneagle

Hi Fambly,

I mentioned in an earlier post that I had become ordained as a Shaman. This was the best of all worlds for me, as I often work with Native Americans in the Powwows and dances. Nothing massive, simply being there, helps many know they won,t hurt for long. I like the title, even if it is not what I am...I am NOT Native American, and feel that my mother has much to answer for in that area!

I have been given a Native American name by a dear friend of HealerAli's, Pejuta Kola Wama Skaskan. (means medacine woman who moves among animal spirits) She has been involved in many years worth of ceremonies and sweat lodge events, has even a title: Pipe-Carrier. If you could only hear her play that series of flutes......

I have a series of young people who grew up in my fridge. You know them, all of us who have had kids have had the locusts er,..teenagers come through the kitchen. Yeah, the ones who you don't know when they say HI Mrs P or whatever. One must ask them politely to turn around and bend over before one can know to whom one is speaking. Those kids. Fridge kids. Some got their only food for the day in our kitchen, never mentioning the fact. I did some mighty cooking in them there days.

When my daughter moved out,so very painfully and fiercely, I didnt expect to enjoy the company of the fridge kids again...Oy was I wrong. Thank Gods!!!!

Nothing said, no mention of conflict, just behinds jutting out of the fridge as usual.

I never saw my daughter again, but I did see all the kids who came for food and whatever else they needed. They had always been welcomed, they knew it and here they were when I was hurting so very badly. They were THERE and remain so to this day...

Time passed, we all grew older, some fridge kids grew up faster, started their own families, and best of all, began the same tradition learned at my house. They all had fridge kids that couldn't be recognized, laughed themselves silly when they had to ask my question: um..would you mind turning around and bending over?

They understood.

Just after having received the certification of ordination I mentioned in another post, one of them came to the house to speak FORMALLY to me.

She knew nothing of the ordination as the certificate was not on the wall even...
She and her loved husband-to-be wanted me to marry them! I asked how she thought I could do that, never having done anything like that. She shrugged, told me I would find a way, and proceeded to blithely leave the house. Never did see the certification of ordination. Never!!!!

Knowing I was safe, registered etc, I had agreed. I asked what type of ceremony, Vows? She told me I would think of something, that the two of them wanted an "old fashioned hippie wedding". (Tell ya a lil something here?)

Ok, so I was on my own. Healer Ali, a close friend, helped muchly by finding every ceremony and sequence of event that was on the puter....Pssssst! Ali! I can't read medieval Scottish Dialect. Sorry.

Then fridge kid swans back into house, saying "Oh, there may be a little problem."
I freaked, naturally. Asking her "WHAT IS IT?" a calmness: I asked, didn't murder her on the spot, as would have been normal...For any brand new Quantum Touch Ordinated Shaman who never......
Seems her new Mother-in-law-to-be had a slight problem with the fridge kid who was putting the wedding together. Like mama wanted to kill the kid, and kid didn't wanna get killed. Slight. Hmmmmmm. Oh, and mama had NO inhibitions, none, zilch.

The event was held in a lovely park, just at sunset. I had lost all of the stuff I had prepared. All notes went into the shreddder we call Gus,The African Grey.

(YES,I had put them out of reach. YES, parrots can climb anything. YES, she still living, but is burping wedding vows.)

I had no notes, no experience, no brains at the moment, and faced a crowd of seemingly millions in a long white hippie type dress most of us would have called a nightie. Said "hippie dress" revealed a great deal of back, and my back looks like a plowed field. Honker has not had his toesies trimmmed, Beloved Vet Jerry wanting him to have the best grip possible, so no more falls. BUT my back is his playground.
Much of the playground is coverd with scabs or is freshly laid open. I wince when scrubbing my back.

So, the sun is setting, the flamenco guitarist is flamenco-ing and the audience is waiting. I wanted my mommy.

Thinking as quickly as possible (oxymoron, of course) I had grabbed the rings, opened them consecrated them and given them back to the lil ring bearer, a third generation fridge kid, I am sure. He toddled to the back of the crowd, his tux already sticking to things as he passed them. I grabbed two long stem roses, trimmed the thorns off of them to be used as Talking Sticks. (in case of warfare in the household this is Talking Stick is quite handy.) I had told the mothers in law that I would be using them in the ceremony and insisted on no hitting biting or hissing while behind me. Worked for a while, too.

I had brought two small rose quartz hearts, some of Ali's brain tanned deer hide, and a long piece of 24 K gold to tie a bundle with. (I make healers jewelry, so just grabbed the gold while hurtling from the house, ya never know..)

The mothers were in place behind me and I couldn't stall any longer, as the ring bearer had tired of waiting and was walking in a very determined waddle toward me, right up the aisle in the middle of the crowd. He made it, gave me the pillow, then raised both arms in the eternal gesture of pick me up NOW.. So, I did, and he followed the eternal gesture with an outpouring that would have daunted Noah, ark or no ark. I figured Eh! Kids piddle....then the mother inlaw to my right began to do her thing. She ran to the back of the crowd, turned and ALSO charged at me!

Full out, she ran at me, obviously to do something about the spreading yellow stain on my nightie, right? wrong. she had murder in her eyes....

Remember when I hadda go learn to fight, in order to live again? Boy, if you ever do a wedding, forget the lines, get the martial arts training. Trust me on that one.

I am standing, dripping onto the grass, one very happy young ring bearer and pillow on one hip, my other hip occupied by the more or less insane mother in laws head.
I had remembered at the last moment a hold I had been taught to fight with and used it to a degreee that was quite effective. When she was near enough, I grabbed the interior of her ear and pushed the poor womans head into my armpit. Poor thing, musta been horrible in there, but I couldn't let go, as the entire audience was laughing so loud no one would have heard a screech for help.

I was calm, collected, dripping, and not at all sure about my deodorant holding...
The M_ I_ L was drooling it off.

The ring bearer thought the entire thing quite amusing, as did Honker, hopping from head to playground to kid to ... I didn't agree, but...

So, we began the wedding in true form, an old hippie in an old hippies stance.

I was a bit discombobulated and did a few things backwards, like , oh, I forgot the rings, till the ring bearer threw up on my front. THen I remembered the rings.
HOBOY did I remember. I had the bride and groom turn back to me and just plain told all I was a bit mixed up and any help.......Not that crowd, they hadn't enjoyed a wedding like this in simply ages. So, I made the bride dig through the front of my nightie for their rings, explained that they had been consecrated. She didn't care, she was simply glowing. It was not HER mother under my armpit!

We all got through the ceremonies, did the talking rose bit, did the M I L S will not interefere bit, the kid was stuck to me by this time, and mama under the arm was trying to bite the arm. Not nice. The worst part was keeping Honker off of her, and away from her very real teeth. Nice teeth,too, at her age!

Finally FINALLY I got to the part where I married them. PHEW! Done.

Then some one said there's paper work to be done, ya know...

Moral of the story: DONT feed any kid who is hungry, and DONT become ordained without studying your eyes out beforehand. and most importnatly, BE ABSOLUTELY SURE OF YOUR MARTIAL ARTS TRAINING!
Oh, and make sure the M I Ls are both sane.

Also, when all are toasting the bride or the groom or even better both of them, DONT be under the whiskey when it is pou...spilled, as it may hit your birds playground.

Honker was on my shoulder/head,playground but on me, during the entire thing. I was really frightened for him, but he did no more than bite the woman who had jammed her head under my arm. Silly woman!
Honks shut her up, at least! Then he danced another jig on his playground.....Of course a toast was raised to the new couple, which spilled liberally on the playground...OY!

The ambulance arrived in time to help the M I L under my arm, her/and my bites healed nicely, thanks to Quantum Touch, and all survived.

Honkers very first wedding was a (literally) roaring success!

The couple were so much in love... It was a wonderful wedding!

zeneagle