Sometimes I feel as thought my physical and emotional pains should go away instantly. I believe it can happen, it has happened before in the area of energy work. I am so open for my body to be healed right away, at any present moment.
But it is not. And I weep sorely over it.

There are so many exciting things in life to go to, to see, to run to, climb to... And I don't even feel the energy, or lately, the want to walk to the bus and MRT station to go.. And I think it is putting some potentially very cool friends off... It is like they don't understand my lack of energy and bounce. Before I was so full of bounce. Now? It's like I'm full of needs waiting to be fulfilled.

I will tell you the present situation of my life...

I live in Taiwan, and have been, for the past 2.5 years. I had been saving money for my future, but a great reason for moving here was to build my independance, to see other parts of the world, and to learn learn lear!!! I love learning and finding... I am continually in awe of our beautiful world... Maybe not so much in the city, but...

In a month and 10 days I am going to see a person I love, who I've never met before. To lay it out on the platter, I met him by internet, and have loved him since we began to talk. We have not stopped talking for all those years except for the times when I have been really busy with work, but the longest time I haven't chatted with him was for a month or two about 1.5-2 years ago.

So, I love him to pieces, but have only told him I have feelings for him as more than a friend 5 or less months ago.

You see, after about 6 months that we began to know each other, I told him that one day I would go visit him. But, the reason why I said that after those first 6 months was because he was extremely depressed, and then something really bad happened in his life to kind of push him over the side for him to go into the land of not caring anymore... Slowly he has came up out of that place, and is much stronger, and less childish. Another reason why I didn't tell him long ago that I loved him romantically was because of his unwellness... In the last 6 months though, I feel like it has been me who has been the unwell one... The one with constant physical pain brought by myself from years of abusing myself in sports. The pain has been wearing my bright colors, wearing my enthusiasm, wearing me down...

About 4-5 months ago was when I told him that I would go to see him. We schedules it for Jan 2007. Then I switched it to Nov. 2006. Then when I told him my feelings for him, I thought bout moving the time closer to the present, again.

Finally after moving it a couple more times, Sept 1st became the final date which is after he returns from Germany on a trip to visit family with his father.

You see, it is not often that I meet a person who carries such patience, love, care, sensitivity, and beauty as he. Ever since the start I have always cared so much for he in his every experience, and he was so loving and tender back to me.

So, this leads me back to thte beginning... It will be a month and 10 days till I see some who I love, who I've never met, but the fact is I need to beloved now. I want hugs now. I want affection now. I want healing now. And I deserve all of that now... Yes, years of not thinking about my body has led me here, bit I have learned. Is it that I've learned too late?

Yes, I will ask for more Quantum Touch from my friends, and I know it will help, but I need a lot of it... Not just an hour for my body, but an hour on each hurting part of my body... That is going to come out to a few hours... I feel shy to ask... I feel like I will bother them in asking even though two of my friends really like giving it...

One question. If I am wearing leather sandals, and someone is sending distance energy to my feet, will it reach my feet or be absorbed by the sandals?

So... I am not looking for instant healing like I mentioned above, but I am wishing for some sort of sign that my feet can heal... So that making the visual picture of complete health and The Beautiful Picture of My Life is made easier...

Tired and run down...

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I'm sorry that I need to be brief this evening. Yes, you need to take your leather shoes off to receive healing in your feet according to Richard Gordon as seems the leather absorbs the energy. Sometimes more patience is required than we seem to have at the moment but know that you can be fully healed. You'll be your old (new) energetic lively self. Please remember to be aware of and focus on the improvements.
(((((((((((((((((((Rebeka)))))))))))))))))))))

Sending love and healing to you ((((((((((((((Rebeka)))))))))))))))))))
You will be in my prayers.

Winder

As much as you may want instant healing your body will heal as fast and in the manner that it is able to. Sometimes that is instantly, sometimes it is longer. I came into QT with serious back issues. It took three years for most of them to heal. I am now on the final stage of the deformity itself. It will take the time it takes. I am just grateful that I am so much better than when I started with QT. My hope is that you will have complete healing before you meet your special person, but be patient with yourself. Your body is doing the best it can.

I would also recommend you look at other aspects of your life in which you may be able to do some work. Look at the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects. If you find that any of these areas need work, seek out other means (include QT of course) that could help heal those problems and you will see the physical symptoms recede, as well. An example of a mental construct that you might want to look at is the fact that it seems you believe that by using your body hard physically you will have physical problems as you get older. I think most athletes break down because they are not giving their bodies what they need to heal properly on all the levels. They ignore the signals, so to speak.

One last thing. Take the time to put loving attention on those areas that are weak. Pain is the body's only way to talk to us and tell us that something is wrong. Thank the body for letting you know and then give it as much loving attention as you can. Our attention alone is healing. Then as mentioned above take the actions needed to correct any problems in the five levels: physical, energetic, emotional, mental and spiritual.

Ooooh.... Thank you so much, Winder... I realized today that focusing on who I am, and being who I am, and enjoying being who I am, is important...

I still feel tired and drawn out though... Like my love and giving and laughter resources are still depleted...

Thanks for your prayers..
Reb

And thank you soo soo much Cris for saying,

"...know that you can be fully healed. You'll be your old (new) energetic lively self. Please remember to be aware of and focus on the improvements."

Means a lot...

And Debra, thank YOU for your words also, especially for saying,

"My hope is that you will have complete healing before you meet your special person, but be patient with yourself. Your body is doing the best it can."

That was a blessing to read!! Hm.. And I also liked what you said about giving attention is healing in itself.. I can totally feel that... I teach kids English over here and right now, I have a student who can feel down easily if she is not feeling equal with the points that I give in class for good behavior and using their communication skills in a really neat manner. So, this one girl, sometimes she sits there with her work half finished looking like a drooping flower... Today, I just sat in front of her, and watched her and the kids around her. And watched her and her unmoving work, and just chatted a little... I didn't do much, but just choosing her to sit near was maybe uplifting... She is sad often and needs attention... Hmm... Someone mentioned to me to treat my feet like little, sweet and beautiful, sick children... And so I am learning to do so...

Love,