Gosh... What journies... I feel happy, I feel so able to, and I feel some tears within my chest flow to my throat and linger inside my lids...

I have done much healing over the past year... Yes, it has been a year since I came back to Canada from Taiwan. What was, was, what is, is.

Lately I have been manifesting a house for myself. Yes, my goals and ideas of abundance have changed... Since I was a girl I figured it was okay to be poor. There were lots of poor people. It was okay to not have. I decided I didn't need much. After all, humans began with nothing and took thousands of years just to figure out how to make a fire. I have an interest in African since I was young. I saw the dwelling place and life-styles of Africans... I also saw their food, their smiles, their warmth, their vibrant clothing, and dances and culture. I saw that people with very little in terms of objects, appliances, money, area of their house were doing well. However, I also saw at the same time some with pain and suffering from this lack thereof, so, being Becki I wanted to help. However, I kept this thought that it was okay to live with/like them and have next to nothing and be very okay with that.

I have run into people and ideas and realized it is also okay to have. It is good, pleasant, and uplifting to be wealthy. Being wealthy doesn't mean sudden arrogance.. Or the disappearance of my big heart.. Or that my eyes won't see beyond my material wealth afterwards.

I had confused the two, wealth and health, or wealth and inner beauty, for a long time..

I feel that this may have led me indirectly towards physical pain... If I believe I didn't deserve or don't need anything like help or money, and if i believe my life meant helping everyone else --- I had missed myself in my picture of help and abundance... I had overlooked me.

I am grateful for learning this. I am grateful for my newfound dreams. I have started to want things for myself... I have started to manifest for myself. I have started to draw experiences to myself that, if passed (pray for me), I will have and live a life of abundance.

I went on utube and found 2 women. There is the Esther Hicks woman and this other woman, Christine Breese, who is the founder of a metaphysics university in the U.S. They both spoke about manifest through giving up the up current and flow... Give up trying so hard to manifest, give up controlling what happens to me and what I do, give up controling what I want even, because what makes me happy will easily flow... To surrender, basically... To allow.
Yes, I am the one who looks out of me, I am the one who chooses, and it is my thought that has created my past and will create my future, however, I am not the one and only engine of my life, or I will be asking "Why? Why?" until I croak. I am not in need of this control. I can let go now.
Hm.. Does it come out with clarity?
I feel relief, actually...

Time to hit the sac!

But before that, though, I wanted to deeeeeeply thank those of you who have been a good influence on the impressionable person that I am...

Thank you!
IIIIIIIIIIIIII LOVE YOU!

Love Rebecca
<smile>

Hi
i felt really happy when i read your post at last you are feeling more contented, more at peace with yourself, that's so good Rebecca

You're a human being & will go through all these different questions about yourself from time to time, it's part of growing, learning....

I still do it now & i'm MUCH, MUCH older than you ....shhhh, dont tell everyone LOL

Great to read such a positive post from you love,....stay happy !

Love Molinda.xxx

Wow Rebecca! Go Girl!

I was wondering how you were doing, we haven't heard from you in awhile.
You have such a depth for one so young and are gaining such insights! It has been a privilege to share in your continuous journey! Just know that you have lots of support always.
A big Hug
Karen

You guys! Thank you!

Molinda! Thank you!

Karen! Thank you!

I am grateful to have such inspirational people, like personal cheerleaders! Or.. If you don't like cheerleading, lets just say Leaders!

Karen? You remember me? I was the girl who did the QT workshop with you! I sat beside you. Hehe, cool.
How are you doing?

And Molinda?! You have been with me on QT since the beginning of my journey. You are so wonderful! Haha!! Am I babbling goodness or what?
Take care and bless you both to get to wherever, whoever, whatever you want.

Well, while I am on that note, what is it you want?? I am intrigued to find out what you both desire.

Take care!
Rebecca

Now then....."what do i want"......
emmmmm, ....

Probably the same as you & everyone else,
haha haha ......i am off to bed, hope thinking about this doesn't keep me awake ...
sweet dreams everyone

Love Molinda.xxx

((((((((((((((((((((((Rebeka's house)))))))))))))))))))
May all your dreams come true. Nice to 'see' you again.

Thank you Cris, for your soft, flowing, encouraging energy..

Hi Rebeka, so good to hear from you and know that you are so happy...

And what about your feet? Are you treating yourself?

Bye, Wilson

Hi Rebecca!

Yes I know you were the lovely young gal next to me! You were like a breath of fresh air among us more mature, not going to say older, hmmm, types at the course. Thanks for your presence there! You added a lot to the group. You remind me so much of my older son who is 22, in so many ways. Are you coming to Core 1 in September in Edmonton?

Sorry I didn't get to talk to you more. It was such a full schedule at the course. I would have liked to.

By the way what are you studying since you went back to school?

Take care Rebecca and know you do have a cheering section who support you a 100%.

As to what do I desire? To live with more peace in my life, to let go of more of my limiting beliefs and go more with the flow,to extend more and connect with others and not be so shy. Plus I imagine there is more. It is a never ending journey.....

Hugs
karen

My feet are much better, Wilsom, thank you. I learned EFT and have done a lot of tapping for my feet and other areas of my life. I have done some QT but... It seems like EFT has really worked quickly and it doesn't take so much of my concentration and time.. :0) I like them both, just use them for different things.
:0)
How about you, Wilson?

Dear Karen!

Thank you for such a hearty reply!
It is funny to find each person experiencing the same thing/person/place differently. That is also a brath of fresh air...

I didn't know there was core transformation in Edmonton coming up.. Or, wait, I think I had, but had forgotten. Do you know who the instructor is?

In September I will begin the requirements and mostly 100 level courses like English, Philosophy 101, stuff that like! My major is Philosophy but I have come to see that I really really love Anthropology, History, Metaphysics, and Languages as well! :0) I am excited!\

Thank you for your interest in my life, and I am also a cheeeeeering section for you, as well!!! Good thoughts and dreams to you for all you desire!

Rebecca

Hi Rebecca,
How do you spell your name?
I see it two ways? Rebecca or Rebeka?

Core1 is Sept 21-23 at the Nisku Inn and conference Centre near the airport I gather. Just looked on the website today to see if the sight was listed yet. It is. Jody and Alain are teaching it.

Wow, you have some wonderful interests. It does sound exciting going back to school when you know what your interests are. Both my sons still aren't sure what they want to do yet. There are certainly lots of ways you could combine those things you are interested in learning. Lots of possibilities. No wonder you are excited! I know you will have a rewarding year coming up and will stretch yourself so much!

I just think it is wonderful to see young people interested in energy healing modalities. It just seems like so many energy courses I go to have not enough men or younger people so it is refreshing to see someone like you interested in working with energy and to have some of those different energies and perspectives present in a class. It adds a lot! I have taken courses with 80 year old ladies and learned a lot from them!they have a tremendous wisdom too and are very connected.

Thanks for your cheering section too.
hugs karen

Dear Karen :0) Hehe

I am very interested in that Core Trans 1! Very interested, indeed! I haven't checked into it much, and I haven't looked that far ahead in terms of my uni schedule, but hopefully when I know I can join and am ready to join, there is a nice, ripe, juicy spot left for me!

And yeeeees, I am so excited to fill my head and imagination full of succulent new ideas! Hahaha!! You are probably wondering WHERE I am getting these funny words from! Well, I am reading a delicious book call Succulent Wild Women by SARK! She is just a youthful ball of fun and courage... :0) She really is a victor and a good encouragement to me...

Good luck to your sons regarding finding what they want to do. :0) I find that when I allow myself to just slow down my pace and stop looking around for more more more (usually my fast pace is to do just that - take me away from the looking inside, personal work) then the ideas and answers will be there.. And if they are not there, then at least I have a feeling of calmness and don't worry anymore to find whatever it is I thought I had to find.. :0) Oh, how life is sooo fascinating and complex...? I love how were are all one.

Just the other day I watched a short clip. A young man was talking about how we are spiritual, energetic beings, merely expressed in the physical form. I giggled and squirmed and was gleeful and pretended to float and fly around my house in a very graceful, and unphysical way.. hehe.. it was so fun and such a good feeling of letting goooo... Letting go of my physical surrounding, for all things are in constant change, and I am grateful for that.. :0)

Again, thank you for expressing your delight that a young person has joined the ranks of energy stuff! You know, sometimes.. it is hard for me to make friends, actually..

Either I scare them away with my confident way of walking, dressing, or speaking, or I am too scared to come out of my comfort zone and meet them. Sometimes it is a comfort zone thing, but sometimes I feel uneasy about that person or the activities we would have engaged in.
Sometimes I just don't find too much to connect with people about.

But on the other hand, when I do find a kindred spirit, a like-mind, a warm heart, an intelligent, wise one, I am so grateful for them! However most of my friends have extensive educational background or are older than me by 5, 10, even 15 years.. More of them are male than female, even though in the beginning these male friends are more interested in having a relationship with men. When that cools over, and when they can handle just being friends, THEN they are a friend for life, which again, I am SO grateful for! :0)

And you know what else? I have learned that I really love old women! (The juicy, free-loving ones!)

Take care!!
Rebecca

(Oh yes, for a couple years I changed the spelling of my name to Rebeka, and recently I have changed it back to Rebecca because of registeration, my job, and stuff like that!)

Old women, i.e., crones, are da bomb. (Or is "da bomb" old now, too?? )