I'm here because I'm looking for some answers.

My fiance, whom I have known for eleven years and lived with for six months, has an incredibly strong energy. I have some training in energy work (during my schooling for massage therapy), but nothing has prepared me for this. He has no idea how to contain it, and it is nearly impossible for me to work on him because his energy is so strong that it negates whatever I might try to do. I can't tell him how to manage it; I don't really know. I know what to do with my own, but that's a totally different thing.

Not only that, but if I try to work on him, his energy tends to overpower my own and I end up with a strange sort of buzz or something simply from having so much of someone else's energy in my system.

Is there some way he can release some of the pent up energy that he builds up? Or is there anything I can do to help with that? I think he's containing a lot that he needs to be releasing, and I don't know what to tell him. Someone suggested transferring energy to an inanimate object, like a stuffed animal. I have never done this, so I don't know. In any case, whatever he contains - whether it's built up over time or not - is extremely strong and quite overpowering. I seriously doubt it is pent up anger or any kind of underlying hostility or negativity; he's a pretty straightforward person in that regard, and that just isn't how he operates.

He's receptive, open to suggestions, and interested in knowing more about this aspect of himself and how to handle it. (For that matter, so am I, on all counts.)

As far as anything about him that might be relevant, he's a mild-mannered person for the most part, a bit on the paranoid side, but not excessively so (mostly regarding my safety or something similar). He is attentive and caring, a great father, intelligent, determined. He assumes a rather traditional male role in the home, but is not authoritarian by any means. He is a hard worker at everything he does and is good with his hands. He shows anger occasionally, usually when when he perceives that I or one of the children has been wronged or is in danger. Even then, he never becomes violent or unreasonable.

He had a heart transplant 2.5 years ago for a congenital heart defect, and that was the 11th open heart surgery in his life. Up until then, his health from childhood was occasionally in grave danger, then for the last few years leading up to the transplant, his condition was rapidly degrading to the point that he was on the brink of death for months. The transplant did a 180 on his health, and he has done everything possible to take care of himself. Aside from the care he must take due to his compromised immune system, he experiences very little in the way of limitations due to health. He's 30 years old and otherwise in rather good health. He enjoys being outside and is fairly good about getting enough exercise by walking around the campus where he is in school full time for his bachelor's degree in creative writing.

He is friendly, observant, content with his life, optimistic and excited about our future, laughs a lot, loves music, and eats a reasonably healthy diet.

So here I am. Any suggestions?

Well, I'm really new to QT so I'm sure others will have more suggestions for you than I do. But, my first thought was that maybe he does not have an "excess" of energy but just needs to be grounded. Possibly through meditation, grounding exercises or carrying/wearing a piece of hematite. Hematite can be pretty powerful and you might want to try working on him while he's holding a piece, just to see if it makes his energy feel any different to you.

Hematite. Hmmm... I often wear a magnetic hematite bracelet. Perhaps I could have him try that. Grounding exercises sound good, but he seems fairly well grounded most of the time already. I guess it couldn't hurt to try anyway.

Thank you. I will try these.

Anyone else?

How do YOU experience this energy? As a physical sensation? What is the sensation and where do you sense or feel it? What is the emotion associated with this energy, if any? Where do you feel that emotion in your body?

If his energy is "overwhelming," what is the emotion you feel in connection with the overwhelm? Does it feel like an energetic conflict? Or does it feel like energetic harmony? (It does not sound like harmony, if it negates everything you try to do.) What is your intuition doing? What is it telling you? What do your "guts" tell you? Are you feeling nurtured and safe, or wary & unsure? Does his energy feel like nurturing, or an intrusion?

What I am suggesting is that this is not so much about him, but more about you. If it feels like intrusion to you, overwhelm, then perhaps it is happening because you are allowing that. There are ways to withdraw that "allowing"....Intention to surround yourself with white light is one way. Visualizations of mirrors that reflect is another way. Ask him to pull his energy field in. If it feels like a firehose, see it slowing down, visualize turning it off with a faucet. Visualize your own energetic field as strong, not porous. Others here will no doubt have other methods to share with you.

Sometimes when I have a QT class, after it is over, we have a bit of time to experiment with some "fun stuff." One thing I like to do is demonstrate how we can control our own energetic field, using L-shaped dowsing rods as a tool for the demonstration. Intend for the rods to cross as you walk slowly toward a person when the edge of their energetic field is reached. (aura, if you like) This was demonstrated by Dr. Marcel Vogel in his classes about energy healing using certain specially-cut quartz crystals. Then ask the person to pull their field in to themselves as tightly as they can, and re-measure. It's amazing! Then, have the person push their field out into the room as far as they can and measure again. Huge! The groups have all had fun with this exercise and they have learned a bit about themselves and their abilities in the process. So, asking him to pull his field in a bit is not as wacky as it sounds.

He can intend that any excess energy drain away in the shower or bath, just allowing it to gently return to the earth. Visualize excess energy going down the drain every time hands are washed, let that energy go back to the water table, the aquifer. Hug a tree, give energy to the tree. Send some distant energy to the next person on the transplant list. Do some of the breathing exercises, let the energy balance out with inhalations & exhalations. There are lots of ways. Use your imagination, find the way that resonates with you, and him, as there are no wrong answers. I hope this has made at least some sense...

Welcome to QT!

Hey Ali

Awesome post with lots of practical tips and hints here. Hope this helps you Time's Up - Ali is a real pro with this and very wise.

Sounds like he could also use more exercise, maybe suggest swimming if this is allowed in his exercise regime. I like the idea of the tree that Ali suggests.

I think you should also explore what Ali says about your own perceptions and I think that you can talk about the changes you have had in your relationship recently. Your body may be reacting energetically to him now living with you as opposed to just going out with him.

Also has this always been the case with him or has his energy level changed after his heart transplant. I know this sounds wacky but other people have reported changes after receiving a new heart, almost like taking on the vibrational level of the donor!!! Just had a thought that this was something to explore - seeing that we are working with energy and that every cell in our body has a vibrational level it would make sense to me that the new heart has brought it's own vibrations along with it. (This is wild and I don't believe i am even contemplating it, bit maybe there is something in it - just a suggestion for you to explore)

Welcome to QT and maybe stop working on him for a while!!! Let him work on you as he has excess to spare!! He sounds a lovely man.

Love
Wendy

Hi, Time's Up -

You've gotten some great advice for your friend.

I'm wondering if you could be more specific about your friend not being able to contain his energy. Also, how you experience being overwhelmed by it.

I'm wondering if perhaps you may be backing off prematurely, having never experienced so much pent-up energy, and therefore feeling very uneasy about it. Perhaps if you simply stayed with it, aware that it can't hurt you as long as you do the Q-T breathing and sweeping continuously, it would be able to release and resolve. The energy is simply flowing freely through you. That's what happens when you do energy healing!

You say his energy negates you and you end up with a strange buzz. I tend to feel all sorts of sensations in my entire body when I work with people and there is a strong release of energy. It's not harmful, and your energy is not being negated. It's just the way you're experiencing the release of the energy. Some people just feel sensations between their hands when they work on someone, and others (like me and you) feel it in their whole body. The stronger the release, the stronger I feel it in my whole body.

In other words, the buzz does not mean your energy is being "overpowered" - it's just how you experience his strong release of energy. So you're doing great work! You just get frightened because you're not used to working with strong releases of energy.

When you work with someone on the energetic level, there is going to be some merging, because that's the level on which we are all one. As long as you do the continuous sweeping and breathing, you will be fine. That's the great thing about Q-T - it let's you fully open and merge, yet simultaneously maintain the integrity of your own field.

A great way to ground someone else is simply to hold the feet, particularly at the Kidney #1 point, which is the little indent in the middle of the ball of each foot. (If that description is not clear enough, just hold the bottoms of the feet.) This would be a great thing to try with your friend. Just be there with the interesting sensations. You are not being overpowered, you are simply very aware of the releasing of your friend's energy. You're riding the wave of his energy release. Just hang on until the sensations subside.

I don't see anything strange or negative going on here. Your strong sensations in your body are simply an indication that you're doing great work in helping your friend release blocked energy!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Jocelyn,

Wow, thanks y'all! I had no idea I would get such great suggestions.

After a couple of times observing his energy in comparison to mine, I did back off working on him. I did not want to do anything harmful to either of us since I was uncertain of what was going on. Instead, I asked him to lay next to me and I just simply observed his energy patterns as they manifested when our auras connected as we moved closer.

I did at first describe his energy as an intrusion, though I knew that was not the word I was looking for exactly. He vocalized the same word, and admitted it was not quite right also (interesting since I never told him of my own thoughts). Thinking of it now, I believe at better description would be that it seemed foreign in the sense that it was different than any I had previously encountered. Not his presence, but the nature and awareness of his energy felt unfamiliar.

Our situation is an odd one. We met in high school and were immediately attracted to one another. However, life pulled us different ways until recently. We wrote letters for eleven years, neither of us able to quite get over the other. I was there for his heart transplant and we did see each other a few times when I happened to be in his part of the country on business. Eventually, when he got a cell phone, we were contently talking to one another. Then when we finally had the opportunity to be together (beginning last fall), we jumped on it, as our feelings for each other had done nothing but increase over time. I moved in with his family where he was staying temporarily, and then in December, we got our own place.

My experience with his energy in this regard occured shortly after I moved in with his family, so it was early on in our face-to-face relationship. I have been hesitant to attempt anything since.

I have thought that perhaps some of this was due to his heart transplant. I hesitate to think that the donor's energy contributes to his; however, I would not think it far-fetched if his own body's energy is increased by its need to continually integrate the "foreign" organ into its makeup. This process, medically speaking, lasts the rest of the recipient's life, and he is required to receive medication that suppresses his immune system so that his body does not reject the organ as a foreign entity (as it would an infection or virus). These and other normal complications that follow as extreme a transplant as a cardiac one cause him to be extremely self-aware in the physical sense, noticing every change, fluctuation, difference in his breathing, physical reactions to changes in weather, any discomfort in his chest, etc. Could this acute self-awareness generate some of the strength his energy displays?

From your comments and suggestions, I believe I will cautiously approach the experience again. I have noticed since we moved into our own place that his energy is more relaxed, though still strong, and that without focusing on it or intending to use it, the energies that we both carry seem to mesh together better than they did (we're growing accustomed to each other in that way perhaps?). They seem to actually strengthen and calm various aspects of each other.

I believe I will suggest to him one or two of the ways of releasing energy and/or grounding that you have recommended, and I will be more aware of my own grounding and my own energy when working on him. I will also start with some simple things (such as both of us expanding and retracting our energy fields together - I had not thought of this, but I love the idea of this exercise; it makes perfect sense) in order to familiarize myself with the way our energies react to each other (and the way his seems to affect mine especially) before attempting anything of a therapeutic nature.

Having him work on me is another excellent suggestion. He has expressed an interest in doing this, so perhaps now I will not be so hesitant now that you have given me some things to consider and to put into practice.

Gosh, I think we need a day trip or a weekend in the country. That would be very cleansing.